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  • pacarroll99

A Poem to my Autistic Son - The Window

Updated: Jan 22, 2020

I wish I knew how it is

That you open and close the window

With the weight and texture of your hands

The everyness you see in the reflection

Looking out at the maple,

my arm is a splintered branch

Gathering down

Down from limb to bitter limb

The sun rises and delicately dances,

Sets and rises to your voice, your stars,

You hold it in both hands, clasping it carefully

and then drop it into the ocean

So when I kneel at the pane,

I can see your full creation

Your immodest demands for a different world,

A life unrepentant, without hesitation

It was something not given to you,

but owned

Owned in the way you knew Him

Came to show me Him,

My knees at the roots were aching and bruised

I looked up at the window and saw it all,

Down from the curve of your chin

The slope of your forehead

The immense weight of you on my chest

If you want to know who I am

If you want to know me, then look

Back through the window

Because when you leaned against the glass

You said - What do you know?

What do I know?

Loving you is the easiest secret I’ve ever told,

You showed me every color of the world


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